Sacrifice and Compromise

Lately, I’m reminded that in relationships there must be some sacrifice and compromise for it to work. How much should one compromise in a relationship, I’m still trying to figure that one out. A close friend of mine told me a few months ago, that I compromise too much of myself to make friendships and relationships work. I think compromise and sacrifice are great once the other person can be thankful for what their partner is willing to give up to make them happy. My last serious relationship ended in 2009 to one of my best friends and I’m really glad we have maintained a great friendship after the break up. Having spent the past six years focusing on myself, compromise can be somewhat of a challenge. I’ve invested so much in my education and career that I believe I need to grab at every opportunity that comes my way, even at the expense of my health and time with loved ones. I recently had the opportunity to work with a start-up here in Trinidad and Tobago and sadly, I turned down the opportunity. I looked at my current schedule and I knew it would be impossible to manage. I’m making great headway with a web based application and my lecturing duties are extremely important to me and I’m also finding it easier to make time to spend with loved ones. To risk losing the things that I have working for me now may not be a sensible compromise. It’s impossible to grab at every opportunity that comes your way and it’s understandable if you feel you need to. I wish that start-up all the success in the world even though I cannot be a part of it. One old saying that I always remember is “One bird in the hand is worth two in the bushes“.

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Advice

Yesterday before lecturing my Java class, I had a really great conversation with a friend I have a great amount of love for. He currently lives in Boston but has lived in New York for most of his years. His mom isn’t well at the moment and he decided to move to Boston to be with her during her time of need. When we spoke yesterday, he reminded me that I have one mother and I should stay in Trinidad and be here for her in her time of need. It would indeed be heartbreaking to know I walked away from family to pursue my professional goals when my family needed me the most. I will still follow my dream but for now I need to assess what’s most important and most valuable to me. To hear him talk about his professional sacrifice for the sake of an ill parent was quite humbling for me. Having had the goal of being an iOS Developer in the UK for such a long time has made so focused on achieving it, that very little could stop me from leaving but thanks to the wise words of a very dear friend I have made a bit of a detour in my journey. I have the following affirmation on my bedroom wall that I constantly say to myself “I follow my dreams no matter what”, and I need to remind myself that slowing down and postponing may sometimes be a good thing.