Assumptions

Yesterday my two nieces, Charlize and Faith fell ill and were taken to the hospital. Charlize was given two shots and taken home, while Faith stayed in the hospital under observation. More than a year ago, while Faith stayed with me overnight, she fell ill and I rushed her to the hospital. That experience was a bit scary for me. Throughout the whole ordeal, Faith was so brave, not once did she cry. Blood was taken from her and medication was administered intravenously. It’s the first time I’ve seen a baby not even flinch while being stuck with a needle. Yesterday was the same thing. However, her older sister Charlise did not respond the same way when she received her shots. Sometimes we look at people and assume so much about them.  We think they’re weak, insecure and unaware of so much around them and other times we think so highly of others. I’ve learned that people show you the side of them they want you to see. Sometimes what you see in others is a reflection of yourself, so it’s always interesting to have someone else judge me. I’ve also realised while interacting with different people, some of my qualities are magnified and the best in me is brought out, while sometimes the opposite can happen. I’ve learned so much from watching Faith over the past two years and I’ll continue to watch her grow. Her strength in character for a two year old is quite admirable and it’s something I’ll definitely remind her of as she gets older.

Advertisements

I’m back

After a two week break from posting, I’m back to writing blog posts. Over the past two weeks, I’ve focused mainly on work as my lecturing duties increased to six days a week to facilitate make-up classes. I also used this time to contemplate how frequent I make posts to my blogs. I was advised by a friend in media and advertising to post about 3 days a week rather than my usual 5 days a week. Taking that advice into consideration, I will experiment with a new schedule for posting for the month of April, perhaps every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and see how things move from there. I thank everyone for the continued support thus far and I hope my new schedule is appreciated by my followers.

Why am I complaining?

This week I met up with a friend who seems to be dealing with quite a few challenges right now in his life. As I listened to him to lend my support, I looked around and realised how blessed he was. Don’t get me wrong, we are entitled to vent about the things that negatively affect us but I couldn’t help but wonder if other people would have looked at me the same way in the past when I complained about things that bothered me in my life. It’s really a challenge to focus mostly on the blessings when faced with adversity but it’s something I believe is worth mastering. Gratitude leads to increased happiness and a positive mental attitude attracts more blessings. I’m not saying to act as if the challenges don’t exist but a piece of advice given to me by Dave Bhajan from UTT many years ago, was “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change”. When I’m complaining, I need to remind myself of the following:

  1. I woke up this morning.
  2. I have family and friends to love, who also love me.
  3. I have a home to live in.
  4. I have the health and strength to do quite a lot with my life right now.
  5. I have multiple sources of income.
  6. All my senses are functioning.
  7. I am educated to a post graduate level.
  8. I have the freedom to do what I want whenever I want.

I can add so much more to this list but that would bore you…lol. What’s important is that I refine my way of thinking to focus more on what’s good in my life and see a deeper purpose and meaning in what may not be going so great.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.”…Maya Angelou

Perfectionism

Life has a way of teaching us the lessons that we need to learn just at the right time. I am obsessed with my schedule, especially my weekday schedule. I make adjustments to my schedule on a weekly basis, perfecting it as much as possible. I wake up at 4:30AM and everything is planned to the minute and I aim go to bed at 10:30PM but this rarely happens, it’s more like 11:30PM/Midnight. I’m hoping I can make my 10:30PM bedtime when I move closer to the city.

Unfortunately, things do not always go to plan. When this happens I notice I feel a great sense of anxiety and anger towards myself. Yesterday my intention was to run some errands with my mom, then go to work half day. When I noticed I would be extremely late for work, I contacted the office to let them know I will not be able to make it in. Five minutes after contacting the office, my mom told me her plans were cancelled. This left me a bit perturbed as I felt as if nothing was going the way I wanted or had planned for the day. After becoming aware of the way I felt, I realised there was a lesson to be learnt.

There is only so much I can predict about my life and my day. When things don’t go the way I planned, it is more important to quickly try to figure out how best I can still accomplish the goals I had set out to achieve rather than being upset that it cannot be done the way I would want it to be. This is a form of perfectionism I need to curb and I’m determined to work on it as it is necessary for me to be successful in many areas of my life. It’s so strange to have come to this realisation as I was raised by a father who made me feel as though I needed to be perfect. Sometimes I felt as if I was not good enough and nothing I did would be good enough to gain his approval and be contented with who I am as an individual. As I’ve gotten older I realised that he was far from perfect and mainly hid his flaws from those around him or distanced himself from those who could see his flaws. I am happy to be at a place where I can accept I am who I need to be at this moment. Once I’m blessed by God with life to see a new day, I know I can become a better person, not the “perfect” person someone else told me I needed to be but an individual truly representative of my soul personality and the person I’m destined to become.

All roads lead to http://nekellecelestine.com

Before the end of this week, this blog will be directed to http://nekellecelestine.com. The original intent for http://helpmelandthatjob.com has changed and so I think it would be most appropriate to use my personal URL for this blog’s content. There are plans for http://helpmelandthatjob.com which will be done on a phased basis over a period of about a year. Using http://nekellecelestine.com will allow me to be more free with my content and cover broader topic areas. I hope the general response from new content I will incorporate will be as well received as the content I currently post on http://helpmelandthatjob.com. At the moment, there is no content on http://nekellecelestine.com but that will soon change and I look forward to seeing how my plans will unfold.