Shattered Relations

I think most of us can name at least one person throughout our lifetime who we’ve struggled to maintain peaceful relations with. For some of us it may be our parents, our siblings, cousins, close friends or work colleagues. For part of my life, I’ve struggled to maintain peaceful relations with one family member.  Most of the time we’ve been good but ever so often something happens that strains the relationship. I remember discussing the issue with a close friend who addressed it from an astrological perspective. He said that because of our individual signs, it was difficult to get along most of the time. We have shattered relations for reasons deeper than what we initially think. We are incarnated in this lifetime accepting that we will endure struggles in the relationship with this person. The spiritual side of us understands the deeper purpose in this while the physical side of us will only see the issues and the drama. An article on http://www.mindbodygreen.com explained why our relationships lead to spiritual growth. The author mentioned her relationship with her father and how it was pretty miserable. She thought he was opinionated, judgmental and stubborn but all of the things that infuriated her about her father were all the traits in herself that she didn’t want to own at that time. Once she recognized and healed the most judgmental parts of herself, his judgments either went away or no longer bothered her. Now her interactions with him are lighter, sweeter and much more authentic. Her father — and more specifically, her relationship with him, and its evolution — taught her that the things that bother us the most in others are actually the traits in us that we’re not ready to acknowledge and heal within ourselves.

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Learning to be a Lady

This morning while working out, I was chatting a bit with one of the instructors at the gym about kids and family. He talked about his relationship with his parents and how amicably they raised him, despite the fact that they separated early in his childhood. There was no bad mouthing by either parents and the focus was always the children. He talked about how mature women in these times do not understand how to be ladies. They were raised by parents who made “Being Independent” a priority and little importance was placed on being a great partner to someone else. In addition to teaching women how to be a great partner to someone, we also discussed the role of fathers in helping daughters set standards for the kind of love they are willing to accept. A father will be the first man to love a woman and it’s truly a special relationship. It sets a unique and important foundation for her to understand how to be loved by another man and in return, how to treat men. It’s also important that fathers show respect for the mother of their children and other women in their lives at all times. This will also affect the way a young woman believes she should be loved and treated. Learning to be a Lady starts with the relationship a young girl has with her father. Being a father himself, the gym instructor emphasised the importance of fathers being present in a young girls life as much as possible, being dependable, a good example, an excellent provider, an honest support system and even their daughter’s best friend. These are all qualities that will be important in her future companion, so it’s vital that she knows how to recognise them and what it feels like to have someone in her life like that. A few days ago I found the beautiful saying below on Facebook and I hope it makes you smile.

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