We are meant to believe that giving up is a sign of weakness and a sign of failure, but I honestly believe it has its purpose. Knowing if and when to give up on some things and some people are very important. In the case of goals, we may be pursuing a business venture or some project for quite some time without making much headway and we believe that we must accomplish this, as anything less will be deemed a failure. We may have invested so much of ourselves into project or venture that we may have built an emotional attachment to it and may struggle to walk away from it. Knowing when to throw it in will save further heartache and help you to see more lucrative projects or ventures that may be beneficial. In the case of people, I don’t truly give up on them in the same sense but I do maintain my distance while sending positive thoughts their way. Sometimes we stick things out with people because we see the best in them, we see what they could possibly be and we see ourselves adding love and value to their lives to help them excel. If that situation starts to affect your happiness, your peace of mind and your ability to focus on your goals, I think that’s a good time to walk away. To be able to give something, you need to first of all have it in your possession and if you are not happy and centered, you are not capable of giving much of yourself. Knowing when to give up when you have most of the facts will help you build character and improve your decision making capabilities. Always remember, successful people make decisions quickly and are slow to change their minds while failures make their decisions slowly and change their minds quickly.
It is true that gratitude for what we have adds to our level of happiness but what about gratitude for the things we did not achieve. I’m sure everyone has experienced a time in their life when they would have missed out on an opportunity, been rejected for a job or did not successfully attain the heart of another. My Aunt Bernadette always reminds me that when things don’t work out the way we hope, it’s usually because there is something better in the future for us. Looking back on my life, I must say I am extremely thankful for all my failed relationships, all my job rejections as well as all those missed opportunities. These situations, after being examined carefully, held lessons to be learnt and also showed me that those situations and people were not best suited for me. They also helped me to realise and refine what I want most out of life and learn more about myself. I am guilty of spending time focusing on missed opportunities and not seeing the blessing in not accomplishing or attaining them but when I’m blessed with something or someone more suited for me, I usually am thankful that things did not work out.
“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation”…Brian Tracy
I watched a Ted Talk some time late last year entitled “The person you really need to marry” by Tracy Mc Millan. It reminded me that loving myself first is essential to loving others and succeeding in relationships. Sometimes in life we are so focused on being in relationships and falling in love that we forget about the relationship with ourselves and loving ourselves. Our desire to please others and maintain relationships often cause us to lose sight of our goals and our sense of self. It’s important that we find loving relationships where the love we have for ourselves and the other person can flourish in a healthy balanced environment. When we find ourselves in situations where we give the love we have, without it being reciprocated, this can cause us to love ourselves less and sometimes affect our self-esteem. Learning how to love yourself can help you set standards for the type of love you are willing to accept and can aid in you quickly recognising when you are not being loved the way you deserve to be. If you aren’t receiving the type of love you think you deserve, maybe it’s time you assess the type of love you are giving to yourself. Above all else, there is love.
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” … Buddha
“If you are happy, you can give happiness. If you don’t love yourself and if you are unhappy with yourself, you can’t give anything else but that.”… Gisele Bundchen
I’ve heard over and over from podcasts, watched countless videos and read numerous articles that emphasised the correlation between physical training and one’s approach to professional work, whether you’re an entrepreneur or you’re employed by someone else. I paid my first gym membership at the age of 16 and I’ve been working out since then. I realised early on in life the importance of not just being active but being disciplined with it. While I would have altered my days at the gym to work with other life priorities like family, university and my job, it’s always something that’s a part of my life. My workout sessions happen even while I’m out of the gym. I usually visualise the weights I would like to push or lift before I go to the gym and before I perform the exercise. This concept of visualising, believing then actualising is important in many others areas of my life especially as an entrepreneur. Training at the gym also helps me to come out of my comfort zone. For the most part of this year, I trained in my comfort zone and this was evident in the way I approached other areas of my life. I know I’m not really pushing myself with weights when I don’t feel the need to train with my belt. I decided that’s going to change for 2015. I’ll be trying a new workout routine that will definitely take me out of my comfort zone, is based around consistently training heavier and one that I’ve never done before. These are qualities that I definitely need to develop in my professional life as an entrepreneur. I need to operate outside of my comfort zone a bit more to build my confidence, I need to push myself to do more or constantly challenge myself by increasing the intensity of the work I do and I definitely need to try new things. There are many correlations between physical fitness and professional readiness and building qualities in one area will definitely have a positive effect on the other area. I’ve also recently started listening to Brandon Epstein’s podcast Entrepreneur Fitness to help me master this aspect of my life.
Yesterday after my last C++ class, I chatted with 3 of my students for a little more than an hour. It was really an enlightening conversation. Since I started lecturing in 2008, I noticed that most students form an opinion about my upbringing, the schools I would have attended and the area I live in, most times being completely wrong but interestingly assuming an improved version of the life I lived and currently live. This is all based on the way I interact with them, the way I dress and speak, my knowledge of the topic area I’m lecturing and in essence, the way I portray myself. Last night I spent some time with these students and we all shared details from our lives and our upbringing. We talked about so many things but it was important for me to share some of the things I learned in life. I sent them an email this morning thanking them for the little chat after class and wishing them all the best in their exams. I also took that opportunity to remind them of some of the things we discussed last night.
- You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. (John Lee Dumas – Entrepreneur on Fire)
- Everything in life is energy.
- Anything you can think about you can bring about.
- In life, you get every thing you want. Most people just don’t know how to want. They focus on the things they don’t want, which draws that thing closer to them.
- Where attention goes, energy flows and things grow. Focus your attention on the things you want to see grow.
- Form a mastermind group with individuals of like minds with a common goal.