The Softer Side

About a month ago, I was having a conversation with one of my friends who is currently in a relationship with one woman and seeing another woman at the same time. While I don’t accept this type of situation, he is free to do as he chooses. He explained that one of his reasons for seeing two women at once was that his main girlfriend was too busy with work and other engagements for him and when he does see her, it feels like business. He said that some professional women attract really great men because of their qualities but struggle to keep those men around for long because they bring their work personality into the relationship. A few days later, while chatting with my friend Richard, he inquired about my dating experience so far with Martin. He also reminded me to show my softer side. As a professional woman, spending most of my day working, it can be easy to stay in work mode when entering the home or interacting with my partner.

I recently read an article online that talked about the woman who has a good job, works hard and earns a good salary. She went to college, she got her master’s degree and she is intelligent. She is personable, articulate, well read, interested in everybody and everything. Yet, she’s single. What the author found was that the skills that make one successful in the workplace are not the skills that make one successful in a relationship. Linear thinking, self-reliance, structured goals and direct action assist one in accomplishing tasks or in positioning oneself for a raise, but relationship-building requires different skills. It requires making decisions that not only gratify you, but satisfy others. It means doing things that will keep the peace rather than achieve the goal, and sometimes it means creating the peace in the first place. You may even have to stoop to conquer or yield to win.

It is important as women, that we learn to collaborate with our men, to substitute our assertiveness and aggressive energy with softness and serenity and therefore get in touch with our feminine side and subsequently, in touch with our men.


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